SLS
“Information Overload”
I have a long ways to go. I had no idea how many classes were ahead of me before I walked into the advisors office. I thought that we might discuss a class or two, but instead we talked about quite a few classes. Obviously, I didn’t know what to expect. I relayed to the advisor, Jean Baker, a couple scenarios that I thought might be a possibility for my college career. I either want to obtain a degree in Creative Writing or become an Elementary School Teacher (1st, 2nd or 3rd grade). After divulging my thoughts to the advisor, chaos ensued. Different class titles were called out, and papers with tiny letters and numbers began to print. Information overload took place.
As I said, I divulged my secret that I was thinking of becoming an elementary school teacher. Well, its official, I suck at math. I have to start from ground zero, MAT0002. I’m not too excited about that, but if I came out of a divorce and it’s after”math” alive, then I can pass a “gosh darn” math class. So instead of writing fancy, prolific essays for an English class, I get to use my fingers to count, go through erasers like crazy and ask stupid questions in front of about 30 other classmates. It’s a good thing I’ve learned humility (thank you divorce, thank you faulty book bag strap, thank you holes that are in all my socks and thank you zipper for being down at a wedding where I’m supposed to be meeting hot, single women….thank you so much.) I have zero fear of asking stupid questions in math. It’s a good thing too; I’ll be in a math class every semester for quite some time. Yes, I gave math an entire paragraph because, math, is my arch enemy.
I also mentioned that I wanted to possibly obtain a degree in Creative Writing. I was told that FSCJ doesn’t offer a degree in that field. Looks like I’ll have to transfer if I want a degree in Creative Writing. But I’m not so sure if I want to make creative writing my main focus or if I would like to teach elementary school. The decision was made to go towards my AA and knock out all of my pre-requisites one by one, and as I move on through college my mind may eventually set on either or. Perhaps as I move through biology, psychology, geography, etc….my mind may focus on something completely different than what is currently on my mind now. I’m a blank canvas I suppose.
I’m really quite a baby when you think about it. Every single one of these classes is going to have an effect on me. Just being in the college atmosphere has already changed me. I’m more outgoing, eager to learn and ready to take on new challenges. I never considered being excited about “school” as even a remote possibility. But here I am, and as I walked out of the advisor’s office I actually felt a rush and a sense of purpose. I think so many people look to other things in life for purpose that will never provide a sense of accomplishment or self worth. I did it for a long time. I committed my life to goals that just never seemed to fit my life. Maybe that’s why nothing really ever worked out and things turned out the way they did. I was doing something that wasn’t my intended plan. I feel different now, and whether its just being plain old naïve or just being overly excited, I just can’t help but feel like I’m moving in the right direction. I’m finally doing something for me, something that benefits my life and I have to say, it feels great. I’m sure I’ll reach my breaking point eventually, but I’ve reached that point before. You just have to put the pieces back together and keep moving forward.
No comments:
Post a Comment