You're Not Very Nice

Stephen Griffin
English Comp.
5/3/11
Descriptive Essay
                                                You’re Not Very Nice

  “This is going to be a relaxing evening.  I’ve worked hard today, I made my contribution to society and now it’s time to enjoy some ‘me’ time“, I tell myself as I pace up and down the aisles of my local supermarket.  “I’m feeling fat today.  Pizza, beer and ice-cream should suffice,” repeats over and over again in my head as a decision for this evenings’ food consumption is made.  The feeling of anxiety slowly fades, calm soothes my nerves and tranquility cradles me like a baby.  Thumb in mouth, I approach the checkout lane.  I’m completely exhausted, but the thought of crashing on my couch with the most unhealthy meal that I could possibly conjure up within my grasp, provides just a hint of a spark to get me through this checkout line, into my car and finally, home.  “Nothing will stand in my way!” I proclaim as I make my way to the checkout lane, balancing my ice-cream and pizza in one hand and my six-pack of delicious beer in the other (Wait!  How am I sucking my thumb?).  But then I meet “HER”; the most dreadful being on the planet, the supermarket checkout woman (Oh….the horror!).

  I love everyone in my own way, but some people I choose to love from a distance.  My standard of distance required for this beast of a cashier would be: her wallowing in self-loathing in China and me re-establishing my existence as a genuinely happy guy in the United States.  Now, think of the most hideous, depressing voice imaginable (perhaps that of a dog that has just been hit by a semi-truck) and the face of a woman that has been in the worst possible relationship imaginable for a multitude of years (“Why do you put up with that jerk?!”  “Cuz I luv he-im…...!”).  You can smell the mental and emotional defeat emitting from her disregard for the letter J and his two friends O and Y.  I’m not perfect and I have to be honest here; I want to go home.  I’m tired.  I want my pizza and ice-cream for goodness sakes.  Judge me if you dare.  But I digress.  If I were to allow this woman to continue on one more minute of her day like this and consequently subject my fellow consumers to this bundle of joy standing before me, I would be held, without bail, charged with the crime of being a hypocrite.  Something must be done.  Perhaps, I am the one for the job.

  “How….are…you…..”?(dog hit by semi-truck voice.)
 
“Well, ma’am, I’m doing pretty good today.  How about yourself”? (convincingly enthusiastic in my delivery of statements, if I say so myself.)

  [Silence]

    The woman says nothing to me.  The thought “You’re not very nice!” attempts to escape my mouth.  I refuse to give up though.  Now it’s a challenge.

“Ma’am, has anyone told you that your hair looks exceptionally well today?  Are those highlights?  I’m not bombarding her with blandishments.  I’m simply acknowledging something that has possibly escaped the notice of anyone to come into contact with her throughout her day of scanning and bagging.

  At this point her eyelids open slightly, her nostrils flare a tinge and the skin on her face tightens in preparation for a smile, yet she’s hesitant.  I believe that under the scales of every distant façade, is a beautiful personality.  Sometimes they just need a little help finding it.  I know that I’m getting somewhere with her.

  Laughter heals all wounds, right?
 
“It’s been so hot outside lately.”

 “Yes sir.  It has.”

  “I took my daughter to the pool yesterday and she decided that once we were done swimming, she needed to pull down the bottom of her little bathing suit, putting her tiny butt on display for everyone trying to enjoy a non-nude day at the pool.”  The cashier laughs.  I continue.  “So I said, ‘Ryan, you can’t do that, girlie!’ as I was quickly pulling up her bathing suit.  You know what she tells me?  She says, ‘Bet they didn’t see that one comin!’”  The cashier laughs and as she laughs a smile breaks through her sadness and depression.  The laughter is healing her.  She probably hasn’t laughed all day.

  The once dreadful being continues to laugh as she finishes scanning my melting ice-cream, thawing pizza and luke-warm beer.  She places the items into a bag and with a smile on her face says to me, “Sir, you have a wonderful day.”  Her entire demeanor changed in just a matter of minutes.  I was happy to see her happy.

  We all think that we couldn’t possibly have an impact on someone’s life.  Oh how wrong we are.  We all have time within our day to improve the quality of life.  Someone reading this might find that statement a bit dramatic.  Maybe it is.  But I have found it to be self-fulfilling.  To know that I can be directly involved in changing the tone of someone’s day makes me feel good.  It’s addicting and it’s not anything that has to be forced.  I only need to be “me”.  You may think that if someone is obviously in a bad mood that the proper way to handle the situation is to just move on as quickly as possible.  You might feel like you lack what it takes to improve their day.  I encourage you to find your confidence.   Confidence within your self will exude onto others.  That confidence combined with a kind personality has the power to heal people that come across your path day after day.  We all seek love.  Love is always found in selflessness.