English Comp.
Contrast / Comparison
Do Not Disturb
I walk into the library and it is completely silent. I see a young lady drop her pen and I actuallyhear it hit the ground. I always thought that was just a myth, but it’s actually true. This is my first experience being in the library. I ask the lady at the front desk a question: “How do I log onto the computer?” She politely explains. I was so worried that the library would have a few annoying students that wouldn’t be quiet and totally disrupt my concentration, but actually, an unlikely suspect is waiting to surprise me. Standing at the front desk I scan the floor looking for a couple empty computer stations. I look for two because my pregnant friend, Ashlie, is taking her time getting to the library (typical). I make my move. Still admiring the quiet atmosphere, I find two quaint little computer stations perfect for a lonely divorced guy and his pregnant friend. “Wow! I think I like this library,” I tell myself. I pull the chair out from under the table and position myself for efficient typing. “I’ll really be able to focus in here. This is great,” I say with confidence. I position my fingers on the keyboard. I’m ready to go. I type my first letter. “What the hell?!”
This keyboard is the loudest keyboard in the history of keyboards. I’m currently trying to concentrate and Ashlie is being so rude by typing extremely loud. It’s actually so loud that I can’t even hear my own obnoxious keyboard. Is a dinosaur tap dancing on top of one of the tables? What is this? Am I back in the 1940’s, using a typewriter? The guy next to me is wearing ear plugs for God sakes. He must’ve known about the ridiculous, annoying noise that is emitted from the library keyboards. He came prepared! “Ashlie, I’m going to have to ask you to be quiet. It’s my turn to emit extremely high keyboard sounds for the whole library to hear!” I whisper. When I walked in here, I didn’t hear a damn thing. I’m actually getting a headache now caused by the keyboard as it obliterates my ear drums. Ashlie and I are discussing how upon further investigation we are now aware that we have the loudest keyboards in the library. I pause to listen to the keyboard being used by the student next to me; the one with the ear plugs. I hear nothing. Why the hell is he wearing ear plugs? I know! He knew that if he sat at the computer station he is currently typing away at, he would have to suffer through a painful headache caused by the two computers next to him; the ones that Ashlie and I are using. Why isn’t his keyboard making any noise?
I pause to tune into any decibel levels emitted by the keyboard being used next to me by the Ear Plug Man, but I hear nothing. I study his keyboard. There’s no difference in appearance. The only difference that I’m able to pick up on is that his doesn’t sound like a band of wild horses running down the center of the library tables. It’s like his keyboard has a silencer. Do keyboard silencers exist? If they do, Ear Plug Man is using one. As I become increasingly jealous, I turn to Ashlie who is stationed to the right of me (her chair positioned approximately twelve to fourteen inches away from the desk to accommodate the protruding pregnant belly) and ask, “why do you need to wear ear plugs in the library? Shouldn’t the volume within a library already be comparable to wearing ear plugs?” I tell her that he’s definitely wearing them because of our keyboards. I just can’t help but remember how quiet it was in this library before I sat down and began typing.
Never the less, I guess I will have to settle for this keyboard. Now that I’m winding down this monstrosity of an essay, I will be taking two of the Tylenol pills that Ashlie has stashed away in her obnoxious red saddle bag. Seriously; who needs a purse that big? Who needs a keyboard this loud? I shouldn’t have to take pain medication to diffuse a brain aneurism waiting to explode within one of the brightest minds ever to walk into, previously, one of the quietest libraries in all of college. I feel as though I should apologize to the other students in the library. I have definitely ignored the “do not disturb” sign hanging from the noses of each diligently working student. “Fellow students, I would like to formally issue an apology for setting off firework key strokes in this library, undoubtedly bringing an abrupt end to your concentration enabled by peace and quiet. Ashlie, however, does not apologize, and expects for you to have sympathy for her because she is currently with child. I do not feel sorry for her. Therefore, I will include her apology within mine. I am now pleased to inform you that I am finished with my essay and will return you back to your silence which you maintained once upon a time before I made the decision to enter this library and use this God forsaken keyboard. Good day to you all.”
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