Tis A New Day

Well, it’s been quite some time since my last blog.  I’ve been busy.  Let’s sum it up by saying…I’ve been “living”.  It’s difficult to let go of a past.  It’s difficult to let go of things that you’re used to, things that you’re comfortable with.  I think the process begins with stepping out of your past.  It’s easy to focus on what you could’ve done or what you should’ve done.  You can be so terrified of moving on to something that can be considered a risk when you’ve built a nice little comfortable box of guilt and sadness.  As horrible as you may feel, that little box is safe because you know what to expect each day.  You can hang onto memories and feelings that are derived from your past.  I’m here to tell you that it’s not healthy.  There’s so much more out there and there are better people in this world.  You have to step out of that box, as scary as it may be, and find those people.  Most of the time those people will find you.  Once you begin to interact with those people and believe in the good things they have to say about you, confidence begins to build within you and you’re then able to stand on the outside of your past and peer in.  You can see that things were not the way they should’ve been, the life you were living wasn’t for you, and you weren’t appreciated for who you were.  Believe it or not, there are people in this world that want absolutely nothing from you other than who you are.  Who you are brings out the best in them.  They appreciate your personality and are intrigued by your talents.  They’re not interested in what you can do for them.  They don’t need you to solve their problems or make life easier for them.  They simply enjoy your company and how you make them feel about themselves.  Now, this isn’t an easy process.  The past will linger for a while.  I tend to expect certain reactions from a person in particular situations based on how those scenarios “went down” in my past.  I tend to feel as though I need to solve problems, provide a plan of action, money, fancy dinners, etc…  I actually have to stop myself and say, “Stephen, this person doesn’t want that from you.  It’s a new day.”  It gets easier because the feeling of a huge weight being lifted off your shoulders begins to take over and your line of thinking changes.  This allows you to just be you within any given situation, and that’s all the other person wants from you.  There are a lot of people in this world that just want you to take all of their problems away, and as long as you can provide that service for them, they’ll keep you around.  To whoever may be reading this, avoid that situation.  You’re worth so much more than that.  It’s not easy becoming comfortable with someone new, but give it your best shot.  It may take a while, but you’ll become a happier person, and your personality will grow by leaps and bounds.  Surround yourself with people that appreciate you and love who you are.  You’ll begin to exude wonderful things that are within you that you never knew existed.